I Plotted A Murder — And I Don’t Regret it

If he didn’t go to jail, I would have – for murder

Photo made by the author on Canva

He’s going to kill me if I don’t kill him first!

It was the winter of 2012, and I got myself into a pretty sticky situation. Clearly, there is no excuse for abuse, rape, and other forms of violence, but I chose to associate with this delusion. He was the best friend of my boyfriend and me. We knew him for 15+ years, and his name was Orlando. This story isn’t easy to tell, but if it can help someone overcome abuse, I’ll share it.

The beginning to an end

My ex of ten years was cheating on me. Avidly. After we dated for 3–4 years, he started fucking my best friend, and I can only assume there were more. I developed a crush on a few people through video games, but cheating never crossed my mind until I found out he fucked my best friend. I didn’t find out until close to eight years into our relationship, and after the whole ordeal I’m About to tell you, we did try to date again, but at almost the ten-year mark, I left him.

Orlando

We invited Orlando to live with us. He was my exes best friend, and he grew to be one of mine over the years. He was a tall black man who had a severe drinking problem. When he drank, he…