Fun Activities to Keep Your Relationship in Thrive Mode
My husband and I have a thing called a “spontaneous jar.” We have a jar filled to the brim with fun activities that we pluck out when we need a couple of relationships pick-me-ups.
It was my turn to pick; I reached in and chose, “Blanket fort wars.”
We built our separate forts, mine was in the bedroom, and his fort was in the Livingroom. After our forts were made, we got our squirt guns. The aim of our fort war game is:
- Get to the base of the other, without being shot (squirted.)
- Retrieve the golden pillow (gold throw pillows.)
- Get the pillow back to your own base.
- Pretty much capture that flag with squirt guns.
Well, I tried to get back to my base with my golden pillow and failed. I got super soaked with a fruit punch and water solution.
How you can love each other more
Most people assume that love is a feeling — it’s not, it’s a choice. Let me explain. Sure, when you are in love, the butterflies and other beautiful things you feel, are side effects of love. Such as lust, appreciation, adornment, happiness, etc. those are feelings.
You continue to love someone for who they are as a person. And sometimes, you can feel like that love is dwindling. You just need to get that spark back.
Here are some fun ways to do that.
Life is crazy, between work and family, and now COVID-19, it feels like all we can do is sit and wait for things to go wrong.
Spontaneity is essential in a relationship. When my husband and I are going through a rough patch, we pick one activity out of our “spontaneous jar.”
We have a jar (as mentioned above) with hundreds of folded papers containing mystery activities. It’s a genius way to spark an exciting day/night with your partner, or the whole family.
My jar consists of things such as:
- Squirt gun fight; the loser does the dishes.
- Whoever finds the missing shoe gets 100$ (we each hide a shoe, ha!)
- Learn a new dance on YouTube.
Do you get the idea?
Creating a jar of activities has dramatically increased our bond, and keeps our relationship from going stale.
If you have something on your mind, say it. They say that if you have nothing nice to say, not to say anything at all. That is a horrible idea.
Why bottle things up? You don’t have to be mean, but expressing yourself, even concerns that may seem harsh, relieve a lot of tension.
My husband and I will tell one another what’s bothering us; we even made ourselves personal mailboxes. Which makes it less confrontational, and brings some joy and humor into resolving our issues.
I got a letter today, it said:
Dearest, mean wife,
I don’t like that you get snippy each time I forget to take my dishes out of the room. I am sorry for leaving them. Maybe, you could kindly remind me instead of flipping me off?
Love, the awesome, husband.
Yeah, that happened. And funny enough, I got his point, and we both laughed. I try and stay more cognitive of my snippy remarks, and he tries to keep up with his mess, without the hassle of arguing and finger-pointing. (Literally.)
Provide space for yourself and partner
If there’s one thing that will piss my husband off, it is when I follow him around the house asking what is wrong, or trying to continue an argument.
You have to learn when to back off from each other.
Following one another while bickering, doesn’t allow anyone to cool down and logically approach a situation. If you are arguing, just walk away, even for 20 minutes.
Come back to the conversation later, once you have chilled out.
My husband and I will use mini squirt guns when arguing, If one of us talks over the other, or gets verbally aggressive, we are allowed to squirt the other person. It’s fun, and also relieves a lot of tension.
Recognize each other’s Flaws
Stop pointing the finger at your partner, unless you are perfect.
We are all human, if you yell at your partner for something they did/didn’t do, try and think before exploding. Have you made mistakes? Have you ever been in the wrong?
I’m guilty of this one, and my husband won’t hesitate to fill my mailbox with hate mail. We have found that our mailbox system works when trying to ease agitation.
The flaw-less board.
Yep, we have a dry erase board with all of our flaws on them. We write down personal issues we have to work on, and if we feel the need to attack our partner, we will take notice of our flaws before exploding.
Since using our board, our disagreements are easy and quick. No anger or malice, just an understanding of each other's flaws.
Write a poem for your partner
Write little love letters; sometimes, life is so busy and stressful that a little pick me up can change your mood.
We try and write each other love notes or poetry all the time. Even a quick “you’re hot” written on the mirror.
It’s the little things; you’d be surprised how much they help.
Listen when your partner speaks, listen. When my husband starts to speak, sometimes I’ll already disagree, and zone out.
What flowers should I buy for the kitchen?
Stop, and listen. If you or your partner don’t feel like you are being heard, that can be stressful. You shouldn’t feel like the other doesn’t care, or feel like they don’t take what you say seriously. Even if you disagree, hear them out first.
Love is a choice. So why not choose to give it you're all?
You will fall, you will struggle — and you will push through it. It’s all about how you handle situations, stressful or not.
Love is also the little things. The kisses, notes, playful remedies to eliminate issues, etc.
Bring back the magic by remembering why you fell in love, what you love about them. How you can love them more. And, when you can show them.